The Common Question

(Originally posted on Accredo Christian Academy Family Blog March 2008)

Since socialization seems to be the first thing people wonder about when they find out we are homeschooling the kids, we’ve included an excerpt from one of the books that influenced us as we investigated which path of education would be best for our family. If this is a question you have, hopefully this excerpt will help you understand this issue as it relates to the path we’ve chosen.

FROM ch.36 The Well Trained Mind:

The most convincing proof that home-educated children develop normally is a conversation with a home-educated child who’s bright, engaged, polite, interesting, and outgoing. Home-school graduates get into college and do fine; they get jobs and excel.

But it’s important to understand what socialization means. According to the dictionary, socialization is “the process by which a human being, beginning in infancy, acquires the habits, beliefs, and accumulated knowledge of his society.” In other words, you’re being socialized when you learn habits, acquire beliefs, learn about the society around you, develop character traits, and become competent in ths skills you need to function properly in society.

Who teaches all of this? Agents of socialization include the family (both immediate and extended), the religious community, neighborhoods, tutors and mentors, the media (TV, radio, films, books, magazines all tell the child what’s expected of him, for better or worse), clubs (social or academic), the arts (both in observation and participation), travel, jobs, civic participation. And formal schooling is an institution.

Taking the child out of school doesn’t mean that you’re going to remove him from the other “agents of socialization” that surround him. Furthermore, think about the type of socialization that takes place in school. The child learns how to function in a specific environment, one where he’s surrounded by thirty children his own age. This is a very specific type of socialization, one that may not prove particularly useful. When, during the course of his life, will he find himself in this kind of context? Not in work or in family life or in his hobbies. The classroom places the child in a peer-dominated situation that he’ll probably not experience again.

And this type of socialization may be damaging. Thirty years ago, Cornell Professor of Child Development Urie Bronfenbrenner warned that the “socially-isolated, age-graded peer group” created a damaging dependency in which middle-school students relied on their classmates for approval, direction, and affection. He warned that if parents, other adults, and older children continued to be absent from the active daily life of younger children, we could expect “alienation, indifference, antogonism, and violence on the part of the younger generation.”

Peer acceptance is dangerous. When a child is desperate to fit in — to receive acceptance from those who surround him all day, every day — he may defy your rules, go against his own conscience, or even break the law.

We live in an age in which people think a great deal about their peers, talk about them constantly, and act as if a child’s existence will be meaningless if he isn’t accepted by his peer group. But the socialization that best prepares a child for the real world can’t take place when a child is closed up in a classroom or always with his peer group. It happens when the child is living with people who vary widely in age, personality, background, and circumstance.

The antidote for peer-centered socialization is to make the family the basic unit for socialiation — the center of the child’s experience. The family should be the place where real things happen, where there is a true interest in each other, acceptance, patience, and peace, as far as it possible.

Socialization in the family starts when very young children learn that they can trust adults to give them answers, to read books to them, to talk to them, to listen to music with them. Socialization continues as the child learns to fit into the lives of his parents and siblings, to be considerate and thoughtful of other people, to be unselfish instead of self-centered. A two year old can learn to play along for a few minutes while the parent teachers a ten year old; an eight year old can learn not to practice the piano during the baby’s nap time. It’s the real world when a child learns to play quietly because Daddy is working on his income taxes….

In our society, children, taught by their peer groups, learn to survive, not to live with kindness and grace. Exclusive peer groups — cliques — start forming around age five. Even in kindergarten, children are accepted or rejected on the basis of what they wear, what toys they own, what TV programs they watch. Even when adults are supervising, these cliques survive — and strengthen — as children grow. And only the strongest flourish.

The trend in our culture is to devalue — even bypass — the family as a basic unit of socialization. But it’s within the family that children learn to love by seeing love demonstrated; learn unselfishness both through teaching and through example (choosing to teach a child at home is unselfishness at work); learn conflict resolution by figuring out how to get along with parents and with each other.

The family unit — the basic agent of socialization — is itself a place to communicate with people of different ages. But socialization doesn’t stop there. As a family, you should make a wide range of friends of various ages. Home-school parent and lawyer Christopher Klicka points out that home-educated children are continually socialized through community activities, Little League, Scouts, band, music lessons, art classes, field trips, and the numerous events sponsored by local home-school support groups.

Below is a Christian news article on homeschool socialization:

Socialization: Homeschooling vs. Schools

CBNNews.com
Michael F. Haverluck
May 2, 2007

It was Theodore Roosevelt who said, “To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”

Many homeschoolers share this sentiment when it comes to public schools, believing that the moral relativism, violence, peer pressure, drugs and promiscuity found inside their gates provide an inadequate setting to properly socialize their children.

Yet 92 percent of superintendents believe that home learners are emotionally unstable, deprived of proper social development and too judgmental of the world around them, according to a California study by researcher Dr. Brian Ray .

What makes homeschool socialization such a hot topic?

With approximately 4 million children currently being homeschooled in the U.S., along with a 15- to 20-percent yearly growth rate, many professional educators and school boards are concerned that this exodus will keep funds from entering the public education system.

Many teachers also believe that successful home instruction by uncredentialed parents undermines their expertise and jeopardizes their jobs.

Questions about inadequate socialization are often brought up as a means to disqualify homeschooling as a viable alternative form of education, but are the arguments valid?

A look at the research on this socialization debate shines further light on the issue.

There’s no place like home Read more

“Stop Cleaning the Kitchen and Read a Book”

This is a really great little article.  A while back I posted a resource of magazines that might be useful to you in your homeschooling journey.

This article was in The Classical Teacher, printed by Memoria Press.  It’s a free publication.

Articles From The Classical Teacher

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Stop cleaning the kitchen and read a book
For homeschool mothers, educating themselves is a revolutionary act.

By Susan Wise Bauer

As homeschoolers, we rely too much on experts; this is true not just for homeschoolers, but for the American culture at large. We rely on experts to teach us what to do, how to do it, and sometimes even how to think. In many cases, there is a good reason to rely on expert advice. In part, we tend to listen to experts because in the twenty-fi rst century there is so much information available. We really do need someone to winnow it down for us; otherwise we’d never be able to get through all
of the data with which we are confronted. But there is a deeper reason, which has to do with the almost pathological need we have for reassurance, for confi rmation, and for validation. In the homeschool community, I find this to be particularly acute.

I think many of us, in large part, don’t trust our own ability to think through diffi cult issues, to understand hard ideas, and to make up our own minds. There are (at least) two reasons for this. The fi rst is that a large proportion of American adults feel undereducated. They didn’t graduate from high school with a good grasp of logic, a sense of the flow of history, and a basic understanding of the great ideas. In fact, most of us don’t graduate from college with that. We graduate feeling like we got bits and pieces that were never really linked together into a coherent whole.

But there is a deeper reason for our reliance on experts. We are a “classroom” society. Our culture tells us that in order to know something, in order to be an expert, in order to learn something, we have to be taught. Our model for modern education is simple: if we want to learn something, we take a class, or go to a seminar, or listen to a lecture. Read more

Teaching the Elderly

I teach a Bible Class at a local Nursing Home. When I started I had the erroneous idea that I’d have no problems preparing lessons for the elderly. So what could be so difficult about it? I am an experienced teacher. I wanted my lesson to be exciting, so I prepared a demonstration like I do with any lesson. Where was my brain–some cannot see well, most do not hear well, and few were able to understand what I was doing. UUM! Back to the drawing board again and again and again. I am still tweaking my lessons because my audience keeps changing and one new person changes the whole atmosphere of the group.

Often someone with Alzheimer’s walks  through –some fall asleep–some don’t seem to be aware of what is  happening–many look forward to it. Yes, it is a very different teaching experience. But one that is so rewarding because the beautiful people in my class are always glad to see me.

My lessons at this time are basically one to two Bible verses printed on colorful  paper in 24 pt font—-I open and close with a prayer–read the verse(s) discuss  what I think it means–I use verses that remind them that God is in control and  that He loves them. I remind them that we are all still alive because God has  something for us to do. When we have completed our jobs God will take us home to  Glory– I admit that I am not ready to go today but cringe at the thought of  living hundreds of years like some in the old Testament did.

A recent lesson was Romans 14:19

“Let Us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.”

I printed the verse on cardstock, cut the paper and bent part of it so that the verse would stand on a table. I added a few flowers for color and just for fun.

I teach about 15  minutes–we are in the dining room and they have been served coffee, juice and  cookies. I come early and help pass out refreshments. After my lesson I sit and chat with the group. Death is part of their lives and we chat  about it very casually. I am 67 and a spring chicken to my friends in the  nursing home. But we relate– we have all lived long enough to experience  hardships–some more than others. We discuss that–Our chats are always enveloped with fun and laughter. We hold firmly to God’s Word and believe every word.

I love Job–  There is a chapter where God is asking Job if he can make the Sun rise in the  morning—the bottom line is that He is the potter and we are the clay.

More Later, Janice

School of Fish

Harmonious Earth

“…And the water below gives a gift to the sky
And the clouds give back every time they cry
And make the grass grow green beneath my toes…”

These are a few lines from the lyrics of a Jack Johnson song called “Talk of the Town”.  You might recognize it from the movie Curious George.  This makes me think of the wonders of God’s creation and how beautifully and harmoniously it all works together.  Have a great day!

True Love ~ Agape Love

The fruit of the Spirit is love.  This is the first quality of the Spirit divinely inspired by God. You will find two kinds of love in scripture.  Philos love which is a friendly love or the love one has toward a friend or companion.   Agape love which is a caring love, the first quality of the Spirit.  Agape is a divine capacity to love.  Only God is capable of perfect Agape but we should strive to love as He loves us.  Agape is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, and it is not proud.  1Corinthians 13:4-8

Agape seeks the highest and best for another.  It is not self seeking, thus the ability to be slow to anger.  Psalm 145:8.  Agape keeps no record of wrongs and does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  Praise God for His Agape upon us!

If you want to learn more about Agape love and other qualities of the Spirit, I recommend taking Beth Moore’s study Living Beyond Yourself, Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit.

Happy almost Valentines Day!

Here are some bible verses in the romantic King James version to help you celebrate this holiday of love:

Fill your heart with Gods word

Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.  Psalm 119:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

For man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.  1 Samuel 16:7

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness.  Romans 10:10

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength.  Mark 12:30

Search me, oh God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.  Psalm 139:23

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Psalm 37:4

Verses that speak of God’s Love

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  John 3:16

Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.  Jeremiah 31:3

God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

Behold, what manner of love the father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.  1 John 3:1

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  1 John 4:10

We love Him, because He first loved us.  1 John 4:19

In the His Word 2009

2 Timothy 3:16-17

Here are some great ways to be in His word everyday this year:

Bible On Radio ~ You can listen through the bible in a year with Tom Dooley, it’s free.  Simply go to this site and push play while you are near your computer. This is a great addition to your own reading.  Turn it on while working on the computer.

Bible Reading Plans ~ You can have your daily reading emailed to you.

One Year Tract Bible Reading Plan ~ You can read, listen or both.

Choose your own plan ~ Many choices of different books to read through the year.

Discipleship Journal Plan ~ “Few things discourage us more from reading the Bible through in a year than falling behind. This plan gives five catch up days every month. This is absolutely golden!”

A book recommendation:

The Mom Song

This is a church’s version of “The Mom Song”.  Performed by Patty Harshey.
Everything a Mom says in a 24 hour period, set to the “William Tell Overature” (lyrics by Anita Renfroe)

A Child’s Point of View

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Gavin, 5, and Drew , 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.” Gavin turned to his younger brother and said, “Drew, you be Jesus!”

Welcome to 100 Digits!

 

Welcome to the new 100 Digits blog!  I hope that you will find the resources here most helpful in your homeschool journey.  I would love to hear from you, so please feel free to email me or leave a thoughtful comment.

If you are doing any Christmas shopping online, would you consider shopping through the 100 Digits links on the right to Amazon or Vision Forum?  This will help me be able to have many fun and exciting things for you in the new year.  May the Lord bless you and keep you fixed on Him during the hustle and bustle of these coming weeks!

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